Not all parenting tasks are created equally

I am facing a loss and as much as it pains me, I have a larger worry. As difficult as it is to accept the impending death of a friend, a fellow mother, it is even harder to contemplate how to explain to my eleven year old that her best friend's mom is going to die. Some lessons in life are harder than others and I had hoped to spare Chloe this particular lesson until she was older. But the world isn't perfect, or even fair for that matter, and we're stuck making sense of the hand we're dealt.

Which leaves me with consoling a child who will miss an adult she is fond of, and has known most of her life, and who will grieve for her friend. More troubling to me is how to confront her loss of faith in constancy and stability. Chloe will now have to face the sad truth that her parents are indeed vulnerable. Anyone can die, and that is a scary truth to deal with at any age. We have been very fortunate and blessed, Chloe has enjoyed an extremely sheltered childhood with few notable traumas. No deaths or divorces have marred her life up to this point. Which I guess means, sadly it's time.

Parenting is never a simple task, but some aspects are markedly more challenging than others. I want Chloe to be able to empathize with her friend's loss, but not to identify with it so strongly that she loses her own sense of security. And, I get to manage this while dealing with the sadness of losing a second young friend to cancer.

For us the answer lies in our faith. Because I need Chloe to understand that, even in the face of the worst tragedy, God is with her, and promises to shoulder that grief for her. I can't assure Chloe that her dad and I won't get sick, or die, but what I can give her is the promise that only God can make. The promise that death is not the end for those with a belief in Christ, that her hope and faith in a secure future, while not guaranteed on this earth, is a certainty with her Heavenly Father. But even armed with that knowledge it's hard to say goodbye, and it's hard to watch those you love suffer. I suspect it's something we'll both be struggling with for the next few weeks.