Identity Theft

Every day it seems like there is an article about identity theft, what it is, how pervasive it is, how to avoid it etc. What they don't always mention is that parents can be the biggest perpetrator of it. In our youth ministry we've been talking a lot about helping the kids find their identity in God. It's a difficult concept even for adults, since we live in a society ready made to label and define us within a worldly context, which is very different from who we *really* are as created by God.

I wish I could say that as a mother I was a completely intentional parent, but in truth this post will probably read more as a "do as I say, not as I do" type of thing. It's much easier with my core group kids to keep perspective and look beneath all the labels their teachers, friends, and yes, even parents give them. With my own I tend to fall victim to my ideas of who my kids are, rather than to see them as God created them. I'm too close, I see them too often as a part of my own worldly identity.

My youngest, Chloe is a perfect example. She is simultaneously my easiest, and most difficult child. Easiest because she is so flexible and accepting, and difficult because she is also disorganized, inattentive and fairly impulsive. On the surface, as I judge her with human eyes I see her as irresponsible, unable to pay attention, and careless. But what God sees is completely different. By His measure she is loving, tolerant, and nonjudgmental, and she never sweats the small stuff. She sees the good in every situation and in every person.

The challenge as her parent is to hold her accountable for any misdeeds, while treasuring the person God created her to be. And that is very, very hard in a world that views successful parenting as producing well paid, college graduates. Those are of course good things, but isn't it a bigger blessing to raise a child who knows and loves Jesus and through Him cares for others? In the larger picture, what is *really* most important?

Psalm 139 states "You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb . You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." That passage speaks of a knowledge and devotion greater than anything humanly possible. And, if God has taken that much care in our creation and that of our children, don't we owe it to them to invest in that? To try and see what God saw as He so perfectly formed them and us?

In this way we can see that shyness becomes gentleness, stubbornness is viewed as determination, a gullible child is seen as trusting, a wary child discerning. It's all in your perspective, a perspective that I am finally starting to get. This reminds me of a common phrase people use about child rearing. It states that children don't come with instruction manuals. But really, maybe they do. We just don't take the time to read them. Perhaps we need to take the time to reassess our children's gifts and resist the temptation to label our children as we view them, to keep us from committing our own version of identity theft.