What you *show* your children is more important than what you tell them.

I am so blessed. Why, you ask? Because I have enjoyed 23 years of not wedded bliss. Yep, you heard that right, and no, I'm not saying that I'm *unhappily* married. I just think that it would be lying to imply that we've been blissful for the entire 23 years. As a matter of fact it's been a lot of work, sometimes it seemed like more work than it was worth, which also is a lie. Marriage is *never* more work than it's worth.

The blessing that I referenced has trickled down to more than just me. Our marriage has been an incredible gift to our children, who, as point of fact, would not even be here without said marriage. It's been a boon to my children not just because Andre is a good father, or good provider, but because he's such a good husband.

You see, a child's best example for a future partner and relationship is modeled by their parents. It doesn't matter what you *tell* them to look for, or to do, it matters what the two of you *show* them. And, you don't need to have a perfect marriage to be a good example. Sometimes displaying tenacity and loving commitment in the midst of tension and anxiety is even more valuable than being lovey dovey when things are going well. It's important for them to witness that love is more often a choice than a feeling. Trust me, our kids get far too many examples of how to cut and run when things are bad, and believe me, children are intuitive, they know when things are bad.

Which brings me back to my family, and my marriage, which is thankfully, blessedly sound. We've had some rocky times in our 23 years together, but it has only served to remind us what is really worth fighting for. Because the reality is, if you want to nurture your children, you must first nurture your marriage.